


The visit

by The_Hawk_Eye



Series: After [3]
Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Complicated Relationships, Feels, Lack of Communication, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23931166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Hawk_Eye/pseuds/The_Hawk_Eye
Summary: They are the first ones in the office and the last ones to leave. They have their own routines in the office that Dinesh likes and even enjoys with Gilfoyle. Today, however, is going to be a different day. Today, Gilfoyle is not coming to work. Tara has come for a few days and Gilfoyle has decided to take some days off to be with her.
Relationships: Dinesh Chugtai/Bertram Gilfoyle
Series: After [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573534
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	The visit

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the quarantine, I have come back to this idea which is a good thing.
> 
> When I started this series of fics, I thought about Tara visiting Gilfoyle but I didn't know exactly how to end this... After some thinking, I found the inspiration needed to end the fic.
> 
> As always, English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes you can find here.

After three years, their company is established. They are not swimming in money but they have good contracts and people are talking positively about them which is a really good thing for them. They are making plans for their company constantly. They go to different places to make publicity of their company and they even have a logo that they love and hate equally, which is a great and impressive compromise for both of them. It has been a hard year but they are making money and the company is growing little by little. They are the first ones in the office and the last ones to leave. They have their own routines in the office that Dinesh likes and even enjoys with Gilfoyle.

Today, however, is going to be a different day. Today, Gilfoyle is not coming to work. Tara has come for a few days and Gilfoyle has decided to take some days off to be with her. Dinesh wanted to complain a lot about that but after the first comment, he couldn't keep talking. She is his girlfriend and it is normal to want to be with her. After they started... Sometimes, after having sex, Dinesh likes to forget Gilfoyle has an actual girlfriend. It is too easy to forget Tara exists and Dinesh dreams about being with Gilfoyle too often. However, from time to time he has to remember who he is and who Tara is. Now is one of those moments. Dinesh doesn't complain when things like this happen. It would be worse in the long term for him to not be put in his place. He has to remember who he is in Gilfoyle’s life.

Thus, when Gilfoyle told him about Tara, Dinesh didn’t say a word. He complained once about having to take care of everything for days while he was relaxing. But after that, he couldn’t say anything else. Gilfoyle’s eyes looked at him with a strange shine in them so, Dinesh closed his mouth and didn’t say anything about that.

Dinesh enters the office and puts the lights on and makes sure the temperature is correct before going to the empty office he shares with Gilfoyle. He cleans Gilfoyle's table a little bit and sits in his chair to start reviewing the work from yesterday. He acts like it is a normal day. He greets people when he goes to get a coffee during his break and smiles when people ask about Gilfoyle. Nowadays, he is more polite that he used to be and more honest. It is refreshing and being nice has certain rewards he enjoys. People talk to him and spend time with him after work. Dinesh explains briefly why Gilfoyle is not coming to work for some days and deals with confused looks from the people because nobody knew Gilfoyle was in a relationship. Even John gets out of his place to talk to him and ask about Tara.

"I didn't know they are still together." He says unconvinced.

"Yes, they are great," Dinesh replies. "With all the stress in the office he must have talked less about her but they are still together." John shrugs in silence and Dinesh can see in his expression John doesn't like his words but doesn't ask. The man is too weird for him. And probably that is why he has such a good relationship with Gilfoyle. They are weirdos.

Dinesh is going to eat alone that day. He usually has lunch with Gilfoyle, he does a lot of things with Gilfoyle lately, Dinesh realizes. Suddenly, Hannah enters in his office after a shy knock and invites him to go with them. It is the first time they invite him to have lunch with them and Dinesh smiles and nods. He doesn’t know how to talk to people without feeling forced, but he is better now than some years ago. He makes jokes and people laugh at them and people don’t look with pity constantly. It is good.

In the afternoon, Gilfoyle comes with Tara by his side. She walks like she owns the place and Gilfoyle seems bored. It is obvious he doesn’t want to be there. Tara goes to their office and looks around with a smile. After some seconds, she greets Dinesh and apologizes for not saying anything in the morning.

“It’s fine. I had to go to work so… I didn’t have much time either.” Dinesh tries to be polite. He looks at her tattoos. There is more than the last time he saw her years ago. She is cool and confident and beautiful in every aspect; Dinesh can’t compete with that. Dinesh likes to forget she exists because there is no way Gilfoyle will ever choose him over her.

“You look great.” She says. “You really look great.” It is a compliment but she sounds tense. “We will have dinner in a fancy restaurant later, come with us.” Gilfoyle is about to say something but Tara cuts him. “I’m talking to Dinesh.”

“I don’t…” Dinesh doesn’t know how to decline the invitation without being rude. “I’m sure you have a reservation and…”

“We can add one more person. Right?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to interrupt… impose my presence or anything.”

“I’m inviting you.” Tara says too confident. And Dinesh can’t say no to her. “Perfect, this is the place and time.” She writes something in a piece of paper and gives it to Dinesh. After that, she leaves to keep looking around while Gilfoyle stays in their office.

“How’s work?”

“Great. I haven’t noticed you weren’t here.” A huge lie but what else could he say?

“Fuck you,” Gilfoyle says and leans on the door. “I’m sure you missed me terribly and didn’t know what to do without me.”

“For your information, I’ve been productive as hell without you bothering me all the time and wasting my time.” It is nice, Dinesh thinks. This is their routine, what they usually do and it is good to see nothing has changed yet. They exchange some insults before Tara calls Gilfoyle and says goodbye to everyone.

When he is alone in the office, Dinesh thinks about what Tara is doing here. Gilfoyle has paid for everything because he has money. Now, he has a good job and a nice house… Maybe he is thinking about having a more serious relationship with Tara. She could move here and start a life as a couple. Dinesh is terrified of that though. What would happen to him? If Tara moves here, Dinesh will have to cut their relationship. He is not ready for an open relationship, to be around them knowing he is just a good fuck for Gilfoyle while Tara is the real deal, the girlfriend. Dinesh opens the windows to breathe. It is winter and it is freezing outside but he needs the air. He watches them leave in Gilfoyle’s black car.

It is a mess and he has dinner with them tonight. He could call and tell them he is not feeling well, but that would be suspicious. Dinesh knows Gilfoyle and if he makes a stupid excuse now, he would interpret that as childish behaviour. He is trapped. Dinesh feels trapped. He knew this moment would come. He knew this would happen. He can’t blame anyone but himself. Gilfoyle told him many times what this was. He reminded him a lot of times for the first months about what their relationship was. And Dinesh accepted it.

Dinesh leaves the building the last. He made sure they were fulfilling the objectives. It is good. Dinesh likes this moment; he can wander around the place with no worries. Dinesh and Gilfoyle made all the interviews and decided together who they were going to work with. They spend a lot of time doing that but they made a wonderful team. Everybody is a hard worker and they are happy with all of them. Dinesh looks the whiteboard with all the objectives for the week and the month. If everything keeps working like this, they will finish before the deadline which means they will have some free time. Dinesh smiles and, for one second, he forgets about Gilfoyle and Tara. For one second, this is a normal day and he will see Gilfoyle after he finishes his round.

Nonetheless, the moment passes and Dinesh leaves the place. He goes home and takes a shower before he gets ready for dinner. He takes his car to go. To avoid embarrassment, he won’t drink a lot. Alcohol makes him chatty and he wants to end the night with his dignity intact. When he arrives at the place, they are waiting for him. Gilfoyle looks unhappy but Tara is smiling. Dinesh can’t stop thinking how gorgeous she is. And she must look so hot with her snake… Dinesh sighs, there is nothing he can’t do against that. When he is in front of them, he greets them.

“Did you have any problem changing the reservation?” He asks politely.

“Not at all.” Tara answers. Dinesh remembers the first time he saw her. She was intimidating, she still is but Dinesh has changed. He is not the same guy. He has accepted his sexuality and he is more mature now; he doesn’t have to act like he likes women while being terrified of having sex with them. And nowadays, Dinesh doesn’t have to show anything to anyone. He feels a bit intimidate by her, but he is not scared of her. And Tara is nice, he has to admit.

She asks about their company and complains because Gilfoyle doesn’t talk about it. She only knows it has something to do with security but nothing else. Apparently, Gilfoyle gets bored talking about it with her. Thus, Dinesh explains what they do and their growth in the market. Gilfoyle doesn’t participate in the conversation, sometimes he makes noises to agree with something. And the moment he says something is to brag and complain about something Dinesh has done. It feels weird to be doing this in front of Tara, but at the same time, it is familiar. Doing something different would feel forced and weirder.

“We don’t talk about the logo.” Gilfoyle says when she asks about it.

“No, we don’t.” Dinesh nods. The logo is still a hard topic for them. They were able to compromise but it stinks. Tara tries to make them talk about it but they don’t say anything. “It’s a harsh topic.” After that, Tara nods and changes the topic.

Dinesh learns her job and what she does for a living. He learns about her satanic church and some rituals. She talks about wedding and Dinesh can see the way Gilfoyle tenses next to him. In fact, he leaves the table to go to the bathroom where he spends a lot of time and when he comes back, he brings a beer. In the meantime, Dinesh hears her. It is interesting he must admit, weird but interesting. However, even if it is interesting, Dinesh doesn’t believe any of that. It is just another ritual, another way to believe in something that is not there. Dinesh doesn’t share his thoughts with Tara, he has argued about this with Gilfoyle and knows how this kind of things end.

Dinesh doesn’t know how he ends sharing the dessert with Tara while Gilfoyle is drinking whiskey. Tara drinks a lot too but not as much as Gilfoyle. Dinesh wants to leave but he can’t. Tara always finds a way to make him stay. Dinesh mocks Gilfoyle who remains silence most of the time and shrugs like it is not worth it to correct Dinesh. Gilfoyle can be cool when he wants, unlike Dinesh who would have snapped a long time ago. During the dinner, Dinesh realizes he is not cool enough to be in an open relationship like them. Tara must know about them but never mention it nor does it Gilfoyle. When Dinesh finishes, he is ready to leave. He has been cool enough for one day.

“I must go.” He smiles. “Unlike other people, I have to go to work tomorrow.” He explains.

“And unlike other people, he can’t work if he doesn’t sleep like an old person.”

“I could but I don’t want to. It’s called being responsible.” He retorts. “I could party all night and do my fucking job perfectly the next day.” Gilfoyle says something insulting and Dinesh answers his stupid comment before he realizes Tara is watching them. She is observing what they are doing like she is analysing something. Dinesh doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the feeling of being watched like he is some kind of guinea pig in the middle of a study. “It’s been a pleasure.”

“I’m sure of that.” She is smiling but she seems tense and uncomfortable. She looks at Gilfoyle for a moment before returning her attention to Dinesh. “Take care.” It sounds like a farewell, like Dinesh won’t see her again; but that doesn’t make sense. She is staying for a week; he will see her for sure.

Dinesh leaves in a hurry and goes to his car where he can take a deep breath. In the loneliness of his car, he notices he has been stressed all the time. His back hurts and he is exhausted. What the hell has been this? He asks to himself.

He starts the car and leaves before anyone can tell him they could share the car since they live practically together. Dinesh almost stops the car at that thought. What has he been doing? What the fuck has been going inside his mind? What the fuck has been wrong with him during all this time? Why did he buy the house next to Gilfoyle’s? Why did he think he could have something remotely similar to a relationship with him? Why…? Dinesh feels like a masochist. He must be… He is an idiot.

He should stop this.

It is time to stop this.

He doesn’t want to be the third wheel anymore.

Dinesh goes to his room and undresses quickly. When he is in bed, he thinks about what he should do. He should talk with Gilfoyle, the conversation should be casual like it is not a big deal. Tara is going to be living with him and it would be weird for him. Until now, he didn’t have any problems but with her around everything changes. Dinesh can’t forget she exists while fucking Gilfoyle if that happens because why would Gilfoyle fuck him when he has her? He has been living a dream, a lie. And he knew it.

Dinesh knew he was falling in a lie but he didn’t care and now he will have to face the consequences of ignoring Gilfoyle’s life and his place in it.

The problem is… Dinesh misses Gilfoyle right now. He misses sharing his bed with him. The problem is that he is too used to share a bed with Gilfoyle. The problem is… Dinesh guides his hand under his underwear and grabs his dick. The problem is Dinesh doesn’t want to lose him. He shouldn’t be imagining that Gilfoyle is coming to his bedroom, that he is choosing him over her. Dinesh shouldn’t be doing this, he thinks at the same time he strokes his dick. He shouldn’t be doing this, the thought echoes in his mind but he doesn’t stop. He touches himself with Gilfoyle’s name on his lips and when he cums, he looks at the door.

Gilfoyle is not going to come tonight, but Dinesh looks at the door for several seconds.

Nothing happens, obviously.

Dinesh closes his eyes and tries to sleep. He has to end this, he repeats over and over in his head. It will be for the best, he says to himself. Denial and self-deception are two things he is too good at but it is time to accept the reality.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

“It was an interesting night.” Tara says when they are in Gilfoyle’s room. Gilfoyle makes a nonchalant noise. He is a bit mad at her right now. Tara has been doing whatever the fuck she wanted and invited Dinesh to a private dinner. Gilfoyle had plans for the day and Tara threw them to the garbage.

“Why did you invite Dinesh?” He has to ask.

“I just needed to know.”

“Know what?”

“Last time I saw him, he was selfish, childish and repressed. And you would criticize him constantly.” She explains. “And now, you created a company with him and are happy about that. I had to know why.”

“Do you?”

“Kind of.” She doesn’t add anything else and goes to the bathroom to take a shower. She usually takes a shower after fucking but not today. Something is off, she must feel it. She takes her time in the shower, it is an invitation for him to join but Gilfoyle is not in the mood. He hasn’t been in the mood for a long time. Doing anything with her feels wrong nowadays. Gilfoyle has been avoiding this moment for the last months but it is time to face the situation. It is not fulfilling anymore for him.

Gilfoyle feels guilty.

“I guess this is happening.” It is the first thing she says the moment he enters the room. She doesn’t sound mad but he can sense the disappointment in her voice. This is happening. Gilfoyle always believed she was what he would ever want, but she wasn’t, not anymore. After years of relationships and some lies, Gilfoyle never asked her to move in with him. He never wanted to. Thinking about living together always felt weird but now, he feels guilty too.

“I guess.” Gilfoyle nods.

“Because of him?”

“I guess.”

Tara bites her lips and sighs. She sits on the bed and moves her head. Gilfoyle should say something else. He could explain the situation or anything, but he doesn’t want to. What could he say to her? This is not only because of Dinesh but the man certainly has accelerated the process. This was never meant to last forever.

“Were you trying to hide it?” She asks suddenly. “Your relationship with him.”

“You knew I was…”

“I’m not talking about the sex. I’m talking about your relationship.” She cuts him.

“We are not in a relationship.”

“You’re an asshole.” She says. It sounds genuine, she is not angry or anything. She laughs and Gilfoyle feels insulted. “You have that poor man going after you and accepting all your rules and shit… Why?” Now, she is worried about fucking Dinesh and Gilfoyle wasn’t expecting that. “That man loves you.” She adds and Gilfoyle has to look at her. “That man bought his house next to yours because he loves you.” She is not saying anything he has never thought before, but it is surprising to hear that. “He has been for years and now…” She doesn’t finish the sentence. “You should think about all the changes you did for him in one year and compare them with all the things you never did for me.” She says after a thick silence.

“You should be mad because I’m finishing our relationship, not for him.”

“I can’t be mad for something I never really cared about.” It makes sense. Their relationship has been stagnated since the beginning. “I thought we were going to fuck before doing this, but that’s not gonna happen. For that, I’m mad.” Gilfoyle doesn’t want to tell her it would feel wrong fucking her. He is not in a relationship with Dinesh, but fucking anyone would feel like cheating on him. And that is not because Gilfoyle doesn’t want to be in an open relationship anymore, but because Dinesh wants a monogamous one. Tara is waiting for him to say something but Gilfoyle doesn’t dare to reply to those words. “If we’re not going to fuck change my flight.”

Gilfoyle nods. She lays on the bed and gets ready to sleep without saying any other word. Gilfoyle goes to the kitchen to drink a beer. He thought they were going to fuck one last time but he can’t do it. The fucker doesn’t let him do it. Why the fuck has to feel like cheating when they are not in any kind of relationship? Dinesh hasn’t asked him anything. He looks around him and sees all the changes in his own apartment. He has fewer beers now and has bought some stupid drink Dinesh enjoys too. And has more food just in case Dinesh wants something healthy since he is worried about his weight and body. And the worst part in the list in his fridge with all the things he has to buy next time he goes shopping; he reads Dinesh’s soap and shampoo in there, below his awful unisex cologne.

They are in a fucking relationship.

Gilfoyle wants to be mad but he can’t. He is actually happy. He likes what they have. Dinesh is being great since that weird realization he had back in the day. He has been improving as a human being: he is less petty and egoistical. And Gilfoyle enjoys his company without feeling like he is drowning. They don’t always argue anymore and can have a normal talk. They have slept in each other houses without having fucked before that.

They actually are in a fucking relationship.

And Gilfoyle can’t be mad about that because he loves it.

When he goes back to bed, they don’t say a word. Everything has been said. This is completely over and Gilfoyle doesn’t even want to give this a proper end. Fucking Dinesh, he thinks with his eyes closed.

The next morning, he changes Tara’s flight. Gilfoyle looks at how she closes her bag with certain apathy. He is not even sad about this ending. It is weird, he knows this is weird, not feeling anything. He opens a beer for her and another one for himself. They share that drink and talks about nothing. This is the end, and they are acting like this means nothing. Tara doesn’t mention Dinesh or tries to give him any advice. Everything was said last night, there is no need in dwelling on that.

When tara leaves, Gilfoyle feels relieved. He gets dressed and decides to go to work. He could stay at home but what would he do here? Drinking? Playing? Smoking…? He quit after seeing how much Dinesh hated the smell. He goes to work because Dinesh is there and he wants to be with him, now that he has accepted the truth of their relationship. He takes a cab so they can share the car to go back home.

Entering the offices feels great. Some people look at him with surprise, but Gilfoyle ignores them. When he opens the door, Dinesh looks at him for some seconds in absolute silence, like he is expecting something. He is waiting for Tara to appear behind him. Gilfoyle decides to go to his place and prepares everything to start working. He looks around and sees the Gollum figure, a gift from Dinesh. He remembers the way Dinesh made fun of him and compare him to the creature; instead of a ring you crave and desire beer, he said. He should give Dinesh something for his birthday as well.

“Where is Tara?” Dinesh asks after a long silence.

“She had to leave.” Gilfoyle doesn’t feel like sharing anything with Dinesh right now.

“Oh…” Dinesh seems calmer after that. Gilfoyle ignores what that means and starts typing. Dinesh wants to ask, but after some seconds of hesitation, he goes back to work.

Gilfoyle should say something. He owes Dinesh an explanation, but things work nicely between them right now. Why would he change anything? Talking is not necessary between them and it is a waste of time. Thus, Gilfoyle doesn’t say anything.

He goes to Dinesh’s house that night and decides, one more time, not to say anything.

Dinesh can’t lose this, no yet, he thinks when Gilfoyle lips capture his. Thus, he decides, against his better judgement, not to say anything.

**Author's Note:**

> And that is all!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Comments and kudos are always welcome!


End file.
